Since you seem to have too much time to blog, I thought that I would do so. And this week, I thought that I would tackle something that is dear to my heart: commercials. Now I understand the cheesiness that is necessary for marketing, but some of these commercials are just...well interesting.
So let's take this Chevy Equinox commercial.
Adorable, right? Yes. However, there is an underlying sadness that you have to acknowledge. What's that? You don't see it? Well let's take this piece by piece.
First, we say, "Oh! A scavenger hunt!" That is so cute that someone would do that for them. We even have a magnadoodle clue! Where do gummy bears hide? That is priceless! Dad is even on the hands free getting them excited for the trip. It's all very warm and fuzzy. Then all of a sudden it comes crashing down.
Where's Dad!?
The glaring unanswered question. Now, maybe they're moving and Dad has been there for awhile working already? No...they don't have any boxes. Maybe Dad had a conference and then continued on to the vacation locale? Maybe. But I'm afraid that the realities of this world in which we live have led me to one sad conclusion: It's Dad's weekend with the kids.
According to a Pew study, of the 2.3 million men that got married in 2008, 1.2 million of those men were divorced. Of the 2.2 million women, 1.3 million were divorced. That is a huge amount of the population. Now, I'm not going to comment on that. That's a choice that adults make. But it is clear that Chevy is marketing to this part of the population. Which makes sense...it's a big part of the population!
Hard to believe, I know.
The last line of the commercial is the thing that really drives it home: "It takes you farther, and brings you closer." I'm just sayin'.
As you will be winging your way home somewhere over that ridiculous volcano that's destroying commerce all over western Europe (I'm of course referring to Greece) I thought I would remind you why you miss the United States. I am not talking about our rights and privileges as citizens or our delightful melting pot of a cultural identity. I am talking about, you guessed it, television. As you are probably aware, my sister graduated from college this weekend. This meant that my entire family was together for the first time since my brother's wedding and as you are probably also aware, we speak almost entirely in references to movies. This time, however, I found myself in the midst of a conversation about the best television episodes ever...and couldn't really think of all of them on the spot. So now that I have had some time to reflect, I thought it would be a good idea to make my next list about my favorite episodes of TV. Ever.
Pictured: Greek economy.
I should probably also give a brief disclaimer about the two kinds of TV that I watch. I like really epic shows. Intense, involved themes...characters that engage in the kind of badassery that makes Rambo look like a kitten...and story arcs that make me forget to study for college finals (thanks a lot, Hub). This usually means that Joss Whedon is involved. Hear me out...you might actually like some of this. I also really love cheesy, yet hilarious comedy. The kind of stuff that makes milk come out of your nose, but other people think is stupid. So we'll discuss both...this is a two parter. First: EPIC TV!!!
4. Firefly - "Out of Gas"
Firefly was one on a very long list of shows that Fox crapped all over. They didn't show the episodes in order...which just kind of boggles my mind...but this of course led to everyone wondering who the hell these people are and why they're doing what they're doing...and then they stopped watching. Fox complained about low ratings and then cancelled the show. As I said, this happened to a LOT of Fox shows. This list actually includesFamily Guy too. So don't think I'm just a fanboy...Fox has no idea what it has...
SIDEBAR: How tall are those mountains anyway...he was falling for literally a mile...
These consequences make the show seem believable despite being completely and utterly fantastical and technologically impossible. That said...watch the episode that I found on the dubbadubbadubbaubeeeeeeee...
3. Kings - "Goliath"
If there is one thing that every show on this list has in common it's got to be a really good idea that was executed really well. This particular show is my exhibit "A". I'm sure that you have at least heard about this show as it was pretty critically acclaimed...although that usually means that nobody watched it. Which...in this case...is...pretty much the case. But the idea for the whole show was the Biblical story of David and his journey to become king. They took the story though and set it in a modern American kind of place. The thing that really makes the show is the attention to detail and the environment that is set up for the show...that...and Ian McShane as King Saul. I think that this show could have been really horrible...I mean trying to resurrect an old story can totally bomb if not done properly...
...it occurs to me that this is entirely too obscure...so if you get it, gold star.
I really like the idea of this whole show because it is updated and all that, but the core of the story is still there. You can still see the struggle of a young man trying to be the best he can be but still falling prey to the indiscretions and passions of youth (he says as a 26 year-old self-proclaimed old man) and the struggles of an old man in power trying to be the best that he can to make his country great, but falling prey to the temptations of this same power. Despite the obvious religious connotations, the show is tasteful and interesting and the first episode immediately hooked me in. So enjoy and thanks Hulu, you beautiful TV showin' website, you.
2. Life - "Pilot"
As I was looking through old episodes of shows that I am or have been totally obsessed with, I stumbled across this one again. Just a second ago I was trying to grab the embedding information for the episode of this show and I started watching for about 5 minutes until I remembered I was also posting. It's that good. Like I was saying about Kings, this show just has a really cool premise. Cop, busted for homicide, given life in prison, then exonerated after 11 years in prison and goes back to work! How could you be a cop after all that? Anyway, there's a lot about this show that I like. And one of them is definitely NOT how hot Sarah Shahi is...no sir...
SIDEBAR: She may or may not have been a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader...
All that aside, I personally think that Damien Lewis is a fantastic actor. He's British, but there's no hint of an accent when he does his American roles. You may remember him as Maj. Dick Winters from Band of Brothers which as you know, makes me cry like a little girl who has just lost her dolly every time I watch it.
There are only badasses in this picture.
But this show has just the right combination of the buddy cop comedy, action, and mystery that makes for a show I couldn't stop watching and probably won't. One of the greatest things about this show is this bad guy who comes in early and becomes a problem later. Like with Firefly, something that you think is going to be a one episode kinda thing, turns out to have real consequences later. Fortunately for all of us, the entire series (2 seasons) is on Hulu...so to quote Beck, "please enjoy. Hell yes." ...and less appropriately "got 2 turntables and a microphone..."
1. Deadwood - "Sold Under Sin"
Alas, there is no video for this one. However, if you want to watch it, I happen to have this season on DVD, which I recommend we watch whilst sipping some kind of whiskey. Amazingly, Deadwood is the only HBO series I have on here. I considered putting an episode from Rome up, but I think a selection of the different kinds of TV would be more suited. Also, I don't know if it's right to submit our reader (we have one right?) to the full brunt of my historical nerddom. So Deadwood is a western that takes place in Deadwood, which is in . This place is just ripe for a show because of the ridiculousness that takes place there. The time period itself is dramatic enough...post Civil War, expansionist America. The show picks up a week or so after Custer's last stand and as you may or may not be aware, the town of Deadwood was actually in indian territory OUTSIDE of the United States in the late 1800s. It's also the perfect time because some of the more notorious characters of the west show up in Deadwood at that time: Calamity Jane and Wild Bill Hickok to name a few. But getting back to the actual show, the thing that I like about it is this kind of interplay between two main characters: Seth Bullock (Timothy Olyphant) a retired Montana Marshal who just wants to settle down and start up a mercantile with his partner Sol and Al Swearengen (Ian McShane) the local saloon and house of ill repute owner and operator who is prone to cursing the existence of the local Sioux population. The show alternates the point of view between all the main characters, but all the important episodes hinge on the point of view of either Bullock or Swearengen and the last episode of the first season is from both of their perspectives and it is the best. The writers spent basically the entire season setting up the characters and conflict, and the tension between the characters comes to a head at the end of this episode. Clint, we're going to watch this if you haven't already. I have whiskey. Come over.
The mustaches in this show are just...beautiful.
I love these shows. And tomorrow, we will discuss the other shows that I love. The funny ones. Until then...be cool, kid, be cool.
I'll be back in the States in 7 days and I'm not going to lie to you: I'm scared. Not of flying or the Double Down, but of America. What the balls is going on over there?! Floods, oil spills, Arizona hates everyone, Justin Bieber, car bombs (what are you Belfast?), Keystone Lite. I literally don't know where to stop!
This week's list of things that suck isn't entirely about America though... I just wanted to let you know the reason why I'll be shaking uncontrollably and screaming at the traffic driving on the right side. I'm scared Tyler. I'm scared. In the meantime, here's a list of things that suck:
Those people on Facebook that comment on fan page posts - Obviously I don't mean our fans on Facebook, I love them and can't get enough of them (Seriously, invite more of your friends). I'm talking about the people that comment on the iTunes posts or the other big companies/news agencies posts. There are two types: 1) the dude that writes "first" like 2 seconds after the post has been made, and 2) the person that tries to actually comment on the subject as if they will become friends with Ryan Adams. Both of these kinds of people suck. Big time. Who the hell cares that you were the first to comment on a wall post? Seriously, how depressed and friendless do you have to be to sit around and write "first"? And the other person that leaves actual comments is just as sad and friendless.
People that misspell "ridiculous" - It's not REdiculous, it's RIdiculous. You can't repeat diculous. You can't go back and diculous again. Learn to write you morons.*
TeaPartyers who get offended at the term "teabaggers" - I read that the Tea Party Confederacy - I mean Nation - are asking that Obama apologize for calling them "teabaggers" in an interview last year. As long as that gaggle of angry white people are marching on Washington and calling everyone a Communist and shouting racial slurs at black senators, I'll stick with "teabagger".
Governor Jan Brewer - The Arizona governor that just signed Jim Crowe 2.0 into law in her state. I don't care what side of the aisle you're on, I don't care what skin color you are, I don't care how broken the immigration system is: racism is not the answer. And this law is stitched together with racism. It's not a solution, it is another problem added to the list.
Eyjafjallajokull - I didn't just sneeze on my keyboard. I'm talking about the Icelandic volcano that has been spewing ash for the past few weeks. It's still causing problems here in Ireland and Scotland. I'm gonna be uber-pissed if my flight gets canceled because of a damn volcano 800 miles away.
Canadians - Let's face it, they're just piggybacking on the coolest big brother in the world.
*I realize that the picture for "ridiculous" is a bit random, but I couldn't find any pictures related to the Harry Potter spell "ridikulus"... So I found that lolcat.
I hope the final weeks of the semester are treating you well. I've got plenty of downtime, as usual, here in Dublin so I decided another confession is in order.
-Despite John McCain's sacrifices, I still giggle when he gives two thumbs up. -I remove anyone from my Facebook newsfeed that changes their status to something extremely vague and/or unarguably emo. (i.e. 'it could have been so much', '37 days!!1', etc) -The Red Hot Chili Peppers's 'Stadium Arcadium' album is one of the worst purchases I've ever made. -The Smashing Pumpkins's 'Zeitgesit' is the worst purchase I've ever made. -The number one thing I am most excited about doing when I get back to America is seeing 'Hot Tub Time Machine'. -'Ghost Adventures' is one of my favorite TV shows. -I also love 'Frasier' and I don't understand people who don't like it. -People who say, 'You would like Frasier' immediately make my black list. -My black list includes Dick Cheney, Sinbad and U2 from 1994 to 2001. -As much as I despise Disney, I will voluntarily watch Aladdin if I stumble across it on the television (I think it's a heritage thing). -I have always confused Ethan Hawke and Edward Norton... What? It's not like one's acting career stands out from the other? -I've secretly always wanted to go to Broadway in Nashville and buy a cowboy hat and boots and then go to the Wild Horse Saloon. -That last bullet point was a subtle hint for a summer activity. -When I worked at Starbucks, I would set up the 'impulse buy' products and immediately become the store's biggest sucker. I was my own worst enemy. -'I was my own worst enemy' is the kind of Facebook status I'm talking about.
I have decided that my role in this whole blog...thing...is that I will make lists. I'm very good at lists and I think that if you take a look at the collection (albeit small) of my posts they're basically lists anyway. You have your things that suck and the confessional (which I would like to take part in as well because that is fairly entertaining)...I will have my lists.
Today, my dear brother, I would like to speak to you about young adult literature (henceforth, it will be referred to as YA). Now, before you totally turn off your interest in this particular post, I think that it is a legitimate subject and one that is especially dear to my heart. So what is YA literature? As I've come to understand it, it is basically any piece of writing that is aimed at about 13-18 year old readers. Amber, I'm sure, will disagree with the age range, but I will most likely focus on this age range of books anyway. There are so many good ones to choose, but I have decided that I'm going to give you a list of 5. These are my favorites as a middle school lit teacher and as an adult who reads YA books because they're really good...(confession).
5. The Redwall Series
Yeah, those are rats...and that mouse is definitely holding a sword.
If you are a boy under the age of like...35 you've probably read the Redwall books. Or at least heard of them. Yes, it involves talking animals. Yes, they fight with swords. No, it is not stupid! These books basically allowed me to fall in love with literature. It's why I read now, and why I have a great time teaching lit when I get the chance. As a slightly...let's be honest, ridiculously dorky 6th grader, I think I read every single one of these books that had come out. It actually led me to read Watership Down and later on, Lord of the Rings. The other reason I love these books is because of the world that it created. It was totally and absolutely fake. Which meant that for the first time, I had to imagine what it looked like, sounded like, tasted like...Brian Jacques (the author) does a really good job of describing the feasts. I was able to really experience Redwall Abbey and the forests and areas surrounding it (which was really nice, considering I had no friends and lived in a desert). More and more I am concerned my students don't have imaginations. They don't read, they don't play pretend, they don't even build forts. They just shoot each other on call of duty, go to football/basketball/soccer practice, and then go to bed. It's a tragedy! Books like these create imaginations. Albert Einstein was famous for using his imagination. He came up with his idea that space was curved in one of his, what he called, "thought experiments" which were essentially day dreaming. Imagination creates things. It's so important to our future that kids imagine and day dream! Einstein said, "Imagination is more important that knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the whole world and all there will ever be to know and understand."
Certainly used his imagination thinking this was flattering...
The Hunger Games is like 1984 for teenagers. I say that because I don't think 1984 is for teenagers...or anybody for that matter (but that's a confession and another post). So, yeah, it's a dystopian novel...so let's go down the dystopian novel check list: set in the future? check. something that resembles a current western world power? check. oppressive government that has no problem with "making people disappear"? check. idealistic young person who quietly questions said oppressive government? check. children having to fight to the death each year for the entertainment of the masses? che-wait what!? That's right. Welcome to the Hunger Games. Each year one boy and one girl are selected from each of the districts to fight to the last for the entertainment of the masses and as punishment for a previous rebellion against the government. Think of it as American Idol but instead of getting a record deal and platoon of paparazzi for losing, Clay Aiken actually is shot by a poison dart and Reuben Studdard stands victorious!
Lethal.
While this would certainly liven up TV on Tuesday nights, this clearly creates a lot of strain on the relationships between the districts and the government. The book does a really great job of hiding a lot of political commentary inside of an action packed novel. It's a fast read and even though the main character is a girl, the 8th grade guys love it. I had even planned to use it as my summer reading before I taught Civics. I was going to talk about rights and privileges as citizens and why we guard certain values so highly in a democratic republic...but then we got a job in Saudi and I have no idea what kinds of things I can ask my kids to read. Hunger Games actually is pretty controversial just because kids get murdered by other kids...but then again...so was Lord of the Flies. Which reminds me...
2. The Maze Runner
The Maze Runner basically takes the ideas behind The Lord of the Flies and adds a whole other sci-fi futuristic twist to it. I think I would actually let this book join Ender's Game in the blew my mind category as the twist at the end of each book leaves your head spinning. This book is violent, thoughtful, and engrossing. For much of the book, there are no girls and the boys are trapped in a maze which changes every day. They are trying to get out of the maze, but in the process have had to build a society complete with a government and everything. This is probably the most interesting part of the book. The way that the boys create this society makes sense if you've ever lived on a cul-de-sac with other kids (sorry, Clint). It's exactly what I would do if I was a teenage boy in a situation like that. Anyway, I would totally spoil it for you, but I think you might actually read some of these so I don't want to do that. But suffice it to say, that this book makes you try and figure out the ending from the beginning...but it stays pretty well hidden until late in the book.
1. Pretty much anything by John Green...but my personal favorite is Looking for Alaska
So I've been feeling a little blue lately... I'll admit, I'm homesick. However, I found a bit of a cure to this homesickness rather quickly. It came in the form of a chicken. Two chicken filets actually. Yes I am, of course, talking about KFC's new Double Down. A friend made a joke in-passing about it the other day and I thought it was simply a small fad like the Bacon Explosion (sooo 2009). Today I discovered that this was no joke. This is a real menu item available at all KFC chains in America. I'm at a loss of words.
I love that there are two options for the Double Down. Grilled or Crispy. As if one has a bit more dignity behind it. "Hello, I'll have the Double Down Grilled please." Oh he ordered the grilled one, he seems respectable.
This absurd concoction of chicken and American disregard for all things socially acceptable has actually helped deter my homesickness. It is now on the list of the things I do not look forward to coming home to... So naturally, I've thought up a list of other things I am not looking forward to seeing again. Consider this my "Things that Suck: The America! Edition"... Here it is:
Bush 04 and Palin 2012 stickers - I get annoyed seeing these even when visiting for breaks from Missouri. Of course, neither of those people are very popular over here. It'll be harder for me to bite my tongue now.
Jay Leno - I don't think I need to go through this again... he just sucks.
AM/PM - This sounds odd, but telling time by AM/PM is just silly. I've discovered that since my time over here. It doesn't take much time at all to get acclimated to reading "military" time and it's much easier to communicate. On all levels.
White people - Okay, this one is a stretch I know. Even though I am in a white-majority European country, they're just... different here. In America, you get the cliche overtly happy white people that are actually a little frightening. I think the Osteen couple are a perfect example of this terrifying demographic. The Irish and American white people do share something in common though: never make eye contact with them.
Independence Day on TBS - Now wait just one second! Before you all freak out on me and leave hateful comments, you have to understand my meaning. When I left, TBS probably showed Independence Day every 2 weeks. Even for the most obsessive Lord of the Rings or Star Wars nerd, watching a movie (at least) once every 2 weeks is a bit excessive. I know this because I was once that LOTR nerd (you can only say "LOTR" if you're a club member). I mean, sure it's an entertaining movie (and who doesn't love a black man that doesn't frighten the group in my last bullet point), but c'mon Ted Turner! Get the rights to something else please, and something that isn't a Jennifer Lopez movie or another Family Guy season.
Cops - I had a run-in with the law before I left for Ireland and I'm not looking forward to living in fear once again. Over here, the cops are... Chill. Sure, they do their job and if you're breaking the law you're gonna get in trouble... But they're not douche bags. I actually saw an officer and (I'm pretty sure) a police chief posing for photographs on St. Patty's Day... They even let the drunkards wear their hats! That's a police force I can get behind.
Well, I feel much better now. That little list did the trick. See y'all in 3 weeks!
As I look out my window onto an oddly colored sky in Dublin (stupid Iceland and its volcano), I can't help but think of my transgressions. I've conjured up another list of confessions for the confession booth, hope you enjoy.
-I don't find The Onion funny. -I hate orange chocolate, I think it's cheap and distasteful. -I think Gatorade flavors that include the word "glacier" are even cheaper and more distasteful. -Orange Gatorade is my favorite. -English accents kind of make me nauseous. -I immediately lower my standards for anyone who says they enjoy the television show "Heroes". -I think testing for all illnesses should involve peeing on some sort of stick, like a pregnancy test. "Oh man, I have strep!" -Godfather Part 3 was a cinematic masterpiece. -Drinking Miller High Life out of a glass bottle actually makes me feel more sophisticated. -I once bought a 12 dollar pair of socks. -I prefer wearing those socks when drinking Miller High Life out of glass bottles. -Until the age of nine, I thought Chicago was its own state. -I hold firmly to the belief that Reese's Cups are vastly superior to Reese's Pieces, and mildly hold a grudge towards E.T. for giving Pieces its second chance.
After my recent excursion to Paris and my time here in Dublin, I've come to a conclusion: I'm ready for some America. I'm heading back to the states on May 13th, and the timing could not be better. I don't know anywhere else I'd rather be than America in the summer. America in the summer is just awesome, especially in the South. You can't find more patriotism than in the South in the summer. My second favorite holiday, July 4th, is quickly approaching and I cannot wait to drink beer, eat burgers and blow shit up. There simply is no greater way of celebrating the birth of the greatest nation on the face of the planet. That being said, I've now got a list (as I usually do) of things that I miss from America/intend to take full advantage of upon my return. Here goes nothin:
1. Tasty American beer - Visions of PBR, High Life, Boulevard Wheat and Blue Moon have all been dancing in my head for the past few weeks. Don't get me wrong, I love Guinness but after a while, y'just gotta have an ice cold ale/lager. And it tastes even better on a scalding, humid day in the Tennessee backwoods with good friends and good food. And that's right, I mentioned PBR and Miller High Life... Beer orientation is not a choice.
2. American beaches - See the thing about the beaches in Dublin is... You don't go in them, you just look at them. The summer highs in Dublin are usually in the 60s, maybe 70s. This doesn't help the water temperature. I'm ready to relax on a South Carolina beach again and listen to some Allman Brothers.
3. Baseball - The season has just begun so I haven't missed much luckily, but I haven't been able to catch a game yet. I love the Braves and can't wait to watch a few Saturday afternoon games. Maybe even take a roadtrip to ATL for a game? Let's make it happen.
4. American dollars - As useless as these little suckers have become lately, I miss having dollar bills. All this European money is different sizes and color coded, which isn't exactly helpful to a colorblind kid. And don't forget the smell of a fresh dollar bill. Also, it'll be nice to actually withdraw money from an ATM and not receive a 5 dollar transaction fee!
5. Driving on the right side of the road - So, while I was in Paris I was actually confused as to why we were driving on the right side of the road. I've been in Dublin so long that driving on the left side of the road has become normal to me. This is simply ridiculous. It'll take me some getting used to, but I'll be back to my right sided ways in no time.
6. Street buskers that actually play good music - My last day in Paris included an American street busker (pictured above) who played some sick blues on a resonator and harmonica on the Metro. It was so nice to hear some good music being played again from a busker because the majority of buskers in Dublin suck. There are lots of teenagers who grab their acoustic and play Oasis and shitty Europop bands all night. Then there are actual bands that bring an entire stage with them and sound like generic Kings of Leon ripoffs. I can't wait to walk the streets of Nashville again and hear mandolin pluckin.
So there it is, the things I miss most/can't wait to utilize again. I love Dublin and I love Paris even more, but America just has that certain something that I'll always love more. See ya soon.
P.S. I know your students have recently found the blog and I know my posts are always riddled with profanity, but my logic is that they probably won't read my posts. Or at least not read the entire thing so hey, who gives a shit? Right?
It seems I will be posting first this week because, as you put it..."I'm in Paris. What do you think?" So, on my way home from my brother's wedding this weekend in Las Vegas I purchased a book: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. It was written by the same guy who wrote (rewrote?) Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (Seth Graeme-Smith). Without giving anything away, because you WILL want to read it, it is exactly what it sounds like...the adventures of Abraham Lincoln hunting vampires.
Presumably with the help of his steam punk brethren.
I absolutely devoured the book in the span of about a day and a half. It was a quick, engrossing read that I found myself totally wrapped up in. As I sat the book down earlier tonight, I realized something about myself that is both awesome and totally nerdy. I love alternative histories. I love everything about them. Especially when the author or creator pays attention to details. Great alternative histories are always slightly believable...even possible. I should note that I realize that vampires do not exist (that one's worth watching...if just for the ridiculousness), nor do zombies. However, it's the world that is created by these people is just so intriguing! So I have decided to list my favorite alternative histories for you today.
SIDEBAR: I don't really like to do the whole spoiler thing, but I also want to for real discuss these movies/video games/novels. So...if you don't want to be surprised, don't read them.
I love this movie. Tarantino has tension down to a science. That being said, this whole thing is incredible to me because I didn't know that it was going to be an alternate history. I had no idea the ending would go the way that it would. Literally up to the moment the movie ended, I kept wondering how they were going to finish the movie in keeping with the historical events surrounding them and then...BOOM! U turn. So epic. I mean basically cutting off the head of Hitler with a machine gun was a stroke of genius. Also, the idea of a group of commandos doing horrible things to Nazis appeals to my violent, vengeful, teenage boy side. Which is there (hence the video games). There are some interesting actual operations in Germany that are interesting...like Operation Cornflakes (which is real according to Wikipedia). This consists of blowing up a train full of mail and then dropping propaganda into the bombed out train and tricking the German mail service into delivering said propaganda which was disguised as German mail. Awesome.
2. Assassin's Creed (1 & 2)
And boom goes the dynamite.
So, video game jokes aside...this is actually an awesome story. Ever since the whole Dan Brown magical mythtery tour (that's right, mythtery) people have had a fascination with conspiracy theories involving the Knights Templar. I have strong opinions about the whole DaVinci Code/Angels & Demons thing, but that's a post for another time. The story of Assassin's Creed involves Templars as well, but this time it's more palatable...at least for me. The stage is set in the middle of the Crusades where there is a hidden battle going on between two actual groups in the Holy Land at that time: the Knights Templar and the Hashashin. This you know, but the actual setting of the story is the near future where the war between the Templars and the "Assassins" as they are now called is still going on. There's all sorts of awesome historical connections they make and actually bring some real people into the story. The first game is kinda weak on the historical side of things and they overlook a couple of things (like giving King Richard the Lionheart a French accent...). However, the second game does a really great job of incorporating really awesome little facts, like placing Leonardo DaVinci in Venice, Florence, and Milan at certain points in his life. Also cool are the things that they describe happening because of these things called "pieces of Eden". These are shown as powerful instruments that can give aid to those who use them...it's the orb that Queen Elizabeth I holds in her portrait, it's the sword that Joan of Arc carried into battle, the staff that Moses carries, etc. It is always intriguing to envision a world that was shaped by some kind of mysterious force acting through powerful objects and all that (hence the Indiana Jones movies) and the idea of some kind of secret war between two ancient groups has always fascinated us (hence the Underworld movies). You really need to make sure that you play the games to understand the whole story (or you could just read the Wikipedia article). I recommend the game.
But more so World War Z. This is the single greatest novel I have ever read. From the structure of the interviews to the different voices that he is able to give his characters...just fantastic. The idea behind the novel is that there has been an earth shattering Zombie uprising that has almost annihilated the entire planet. A reporter has been sent to try and get as many people's stories and opinions on the struggle as he can. The result is a depiction of an epidemic that consumes humanity and hope and then the struggle to regain that hope and defeat the evil that has almost destroyed the world. The way that it is written makes it easy to accept that this happened 5 years ago...that we are still cleaning up and healing from this near apocalypse. Through this examination of the zombie war, he is able to capture humanity almost perfectly. The fear, pride, strength, and foolishness that we all possess becomes the canvas on which he can paint his masterpiece. When you get back from Ireland, you are reading this book and we are talking about it. The guy that directed Quantum of Solace is directing the film version. I'm tempted to never see it because I love the book so much...but I probably will...because of this concept art...
"I repeat, damaging the brain or removing the head..."
Just what I was thinking about...
PS-Clint you only have a short while before I will inflict punishment on you...and I don't think you want to know what that punishment will be.
First, let's address your question: who is my favorite photographer and a specific image they produced. I don't hold it against you, but I hate this question. There are so many amazing photographers out there, and I'm always discovering new ones. It's difficult to decide. For a long time it was Annie Leibovitz, but then she decided to stop making good images. I believe, of the "legendary" photographers, my favorite would have to be Richard Avedon. This man captured the essence of beauty, reality, truth and was a master of the art. My favorite photograph that he produced is, currently, this one:
Not only because this photo is absolutely beautiful, but because the story behind it reminds me that Avedon was no more human than I am and was always struggling with the craft. Avedon took this photo, it shook the fashion world, and Avedon was not pleased. He claimed that the photo was ruined because the woman's white sash should have been flowing the other direction (to our right). The photo reminds me that, even in the most beautiful image there is always room for improvement.
Now for your question, sir: you're allowed to watch only Spongebob Squarepants episodes for an entire year or listen to only Avril Lavigne albums for 8 months, which would you choose? Explain.
And finally, I've decided to start a new string of posts that, I think, will keep our readers entertained and also make me sound like a complete fool. With this post, I will list things that people do not know about me or I have done my damnedest to conceal from general knowledge. So here it goes, my first confession:
-I have no idea what the plot of Fiddler on the Roof is... I know it involves Jews. -I still cannot successfully say the phrase, "6 in 1, half dozen in the other." -It took me a few years to actually figure out what that phrase meant. -I don't know the rules of basketball. -I hate it when people send me YouTube videos and tell me I "have to watch this." -I hate Twitter with every fiber of my being. -I am addicted to Twitter. -I have a socially destructive fear of clowns. -I found Little Miss Sunshine annoyingly proud of itself. -The first CDs I ever owned were the Spice Girls and Backstreet Boys. -I once did not shower for 6 days straight. -I used teeth whitening strips when I was 16... I don't regret it. -When I worked at Chicken Nick's, I would talk to the Mexican cooks with a Mexican accent. It didn't help. -I got up at 4 am and waited in line for the iPhone 3G in 2008.
I figured that you would hate that question. I view the "what's your favorite time period of history" question the same way. Ah well...I like that image a lot though, so well done. Now for the important stuff.
That's right. I would rather watch nothing but Spongebob Squarepants (who shall be called SBSP for the remainder of the post) for an entire year than listen to nothing but Avril Lavigne for 8 months. This says two things about me: a. how much I hate Avril Lavigne and b. how much more I care about music than TV. I would so much rather be sitting listening to my favorite music and reading a book or sitting on the internet than watching TV. On the other hand, I also really enjoy TV. And I should probably begin the confessions by saying that I do, in fact, enjoy SBSP. I like the theme song (which you probably didn't look at even though I linked it) which is delightfully catchy. I think that the silly stupid humor reminds me of "Ren and Stimpy" which I thought was, again, silly and stupid. You know me pretty well and just trust me, SBSP is just my style. In case you were wondering what the whole deal is...check out the SBSP movie...on whose soundtrack you will find music by such hipstars as Wilco, the Flaming Lips, Motorhead, and, your favorite, Ween. So all in all, easy choice. Thanks for that one.
And now about your confessionals...
Sorry, not the dashboard kind...
I wasn't sure if you wanted me to confess as well...so I'll just comment on some of yours and maybe admit some as well...
Fiddler on the Roof is a great musical and I suggest that you do go and watch it at some point. If you don't care for musicals (and you don't seem like the kind that would) here's the wikipedia entry on the film version. I personally love it. But that leads to my first confession...I love musicals and show tunes. But is that really a surprise to anyone?
As for the saying...you know that your dad can't do that either. It's mildly hilarious. "When in Rome..."
I understand hating the whole youtube thing. I rarely do that when people suggest things for me. On a related note, I never listen to music that people suggest for me. I don't really know why, I just can't for some reason...I have some thing about finding it on my own.
I still know all the words to Backstreet Boys songs...never owned the cds, but I knew all the words. *sigh*
Lastly, I have never understood the standing in a huge line at a God-awful hour to spend an unbelievable amount of money. Whether it's concert tickets or Harry Potter or the Jesus phone, I'm just not that excited about anything. I mean I waited for a couple of YEARS for Modern Warfare 2, and I didn't go to the midnight release, I just bought it when I had a minute. So yeah...can't really agree with you there. (Yeah, yeah...I love video games...a little too much).
So let me know if you want me to take part in the embarrassment as well or whatever...also, I got a haircut that requires gel in its upkeep. Too much? I'll stop.
I realize that we have much to talk about, Clint. Let's do that.
It is a delightfully sunny day here in Nashville, Tennessee, home of the Whopper. Today is Teacher Appreciation Day at school, so I thought I would send some of that appreciation your way in the form of a new blog activity...or blogtivity(...I'm sorry). We both have very specific realms of knowledge and experience, so I thought we could use that to both entertain and educate. Every week we should ask each other a question and the other can answer in his next blog post. Sound good? So my first question to you is...who is your favorite photographer and what is the image of his or hers that is your favorite? I know that's like asking me who my favorite historian is, but I say you must choose! I saw an article on NPR about some photos that Ansel Adams took for the Department of the Interior and they are absolutely incredible! So let's start this thing...it'll be great. Trust me.
SIDEBAR: Are you checking what's on these links? Some of this is comic GOLD!
Ya know...like Carlos Mencia...(I was going to use Carrot Top...but do yourself a favor and don't google image Carrot Top...ugh)
So now onto the meat of my entry. Yesterday, I got two cavities filled. Which is, of course, miserable. I don't like any part of the dental work process. This stems from the simple fact that I don't like having other people's hands in my mouth...which, I think, is fairly reasonable.
Uht? Uh cuss uh een ahing...(why do they always wait to talk to you until you have your mouth full...)
This is all beside the point, though. The dental assistant (though I'm not sure this is her appropriate title...sorry to dental professionals everywhere) that was handing the different instruments of torture to the dentist was a girl I went to high school with. This has happened a couple of times to me, and I began thinking as I lay there, breathing deeply on the gas, praying that it wouldn't take very long, about how as my classmates and I have passed into adulthood, we are going to be in some interesting situations as employers, employees, service providers, service consumers, etc. Other than the fillings, I have rented a car, bought a pair of running shoes, made an appointment at the eye doctor, taught with, been served at a restaurant, and rented a room at a hotel to friends or acquaintances from high school. Part of this regularity comes from the fact that I live in Nashville. I see these people all the time because most of them stayed here. My thoughts about this are mostly just societal. I mean...how does one approach these situations? Here are my thoughts...and as I am apparently an anal retentive blogger...broken down in sections.
1. Serving: So what happens when you are serving someone at a restaurant or hotel or wherever you may be working and that person is an acquaintance from high school. If it was a friend, it would be easy! "Oh it's been so long!", "How are you!?", etc. But with an acquaintance...is it appropriate to be like "Hey, did you go to BHS?" knowing full well that both of you know that you did. Does that help the service to be better or does it make a business lunch or, God forbid, a first date super awkward?
Bill? Yeah, he used to wear this Babylon 5 shirt EVERYDAY! So, would you like to start with some appetizers?
2. Being served: Is it appropriate to even mention that you know dude/dudette from high school? I mean...sitting in the midst of my graduation looking out over the crew that was about to go on to college or whatever else, one kind of assumes that people had dreams and desires, and I think I can say, honestly, that I didn't think anybody was like "I can't wait to be a full time waiter at Chili's". And yet, here we are...grabbing a quick bite after church with A-train and Special K and all of a sudden, WHAM! High school. I just don't want someone to feel like crap cause they came to work and some dude from high school who is not in the service industry is like "oh...didn't know you were working here...still..." It's like that scene from that cinematic masterpiece Waiting... where the guy's high school buddy comes in and then gives him a huge tip cause "it looked like you needed it." Yeesh! Now this is all assuming that someone might not be so proud of what they are doing at said job. I also focus on the food service industry because that seems like the most common overlap. So who knows...
But here is the ultimate. Someday...I will(probably) teach the child of someone I knew from high school. Or maybe even a friend. I do not look forward to this. Relationships between teachers, students, and parents are complex enough, but adding more baggage is not ideal. And I know I have friends that would like me to teach their kids, and I would be happy to do it...but it makes me nervous. In effect, I am the waiter that loves his job. I am now serving your family in the most direct of ways. I am helping to RAISE your child! Teaching them how to think and learn. That is intense. It's like camping...(get it?!)
I will say, though, that my personal experiences with these meetings have been pretty positive. It's kinda nice to meet up with people and all of them seem really happy about what they're doing. Like yesterday, the girl at the dentist really loves working on teeth. And, yes, she acknowledged that it was weird, but hey, it makes her happy and she seemed to be doing really well. So yeah, it's awkward, but who cares?
So this is what I've been thinking as the high pitched whine of the drill on my teeth reverberates through my skull. That, and the answers to questions on Cash Cab.
Ben Bailey: hosts a game show while driving a cab in NYC...baller.
I accept my punishment. But four times in three days? REALLY!? You better hope you don't forget to post...cause I will destroy you. WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND, ALWAHAB! Yeah, I'll tone it down.
I've been traveling a lot lately and so it has been on my mind. It concerns me a lot. Actually, concerned is probably not the correct word, but I've been thinking about it a lot lately. There are a couple of reasons why I'm uncomfortable with traveling...so let's explore my irrational ridiculousness.
First, I just don't like flying. I realize that this is a stupid thing for me to not like. My brother is a pilot. It takes less time and is safer than driving. I can sit and read or listen to my music. It's really the only kind of transportation that makes sense if you're trying to get anywhere in the world. However, here are my issues. Airport security is annoying. Shoes off? Awesome. Belt too? Sure. Oh...my wallet? Keys? Take out the laptop? Wait...why did I bother packing or dressing? Yes...I do tolerate this to make sure that I survive the flight, and I am impressed with the streamlining that has been done. It's still annoying. Planes are also unpredictable. They just drop, bump, or whatever. It's always unsettling. This probably comes from my lack of control over the aircraft. But still. Good things about flying? I dunno...I always get excited about it. It's an event. And there's just nothing quite like coming off the plane to see people you know waiting for you.
Ya know...just like the press was waiting for President Ford. (Sorry, I had to.)
Second, traveling is just uncomfortable. It throws off my schedules...ya know: eating, sleeping...among other things. I just feel uncomfortable constantly. It's not really that horrible, but I just get thrown off. Take for instance the trip I recently took to Vegas and Utah. First of all, I'm two hours behind what I normally am...which doesn't sound like much, but it just is! I hit the ground running and it was a total blast. However, I ate at weird hours like 2 pm or 7 pm...went to bed at like 4 am central time...you can see how that would make me feel uncomfortable.
Now, I really do enjoy traveling. I get to see really cool stuff and often meet really cool people. But sometimes, I'd just rather be sitting on the couch playing video games or just letting myself slip into unconsciousness while watching Futurama. Ah well...
So one last parting shot this entry. I'm reviewing for a test with my kids and this was a great exchange:
Okay WTFballs Tyler?! I know you still have computer access cause I talk to you on gchat all the time. Yet there is no blog post? I mean, we gotta step it up if we're going to outshine Austin Huff and his sports cronies over at Korked Bats. They just got an article in the Tennessean! They just gained like, another 40 site hits! This will not stand!
I was lenient last time, but this insolence will not stand! Your punishment is this sir: you must watch The Butterfly Effect four (4) times in three (3) days. So let it be written, so let it be done. You must document your viewing each time, and I trust Amber to be the impartial mediator here and verify that you did, in fact, watch the film 4 times in 3 days.
So now let's get down to business: things that suck.
Ricky Martin - Thanks for telling the world what we already knew, Ricky. I'm sure you are a great inspiration to gay men stuck in the closet... If they work hard and sing about shaking bon bons and wooing senoritas for enough years, they too can one day come out of the closet.
The Office: Season 6 - The television show has proven that people don't like working at offices for a reason. They're boring, just like the long running story lines of season 6. Pam is a bitchy mother, the Andy/Erin relationship is so comically annoying that it's actually just annoying, and Kathy Bates should stick to breaking James Caan's legs. Honestly, unless there is some major transformation that doesn't involve the threat of the office being shut down or Dwight disavowing Michael, I think it's all downhill from here.
Jay Leno - I'm still pissed.
Hershey's Chocolate - Not only because it's from Pennsylvania (and everyone from Pennsylvania thinks they are the greatest human beings alive), but because compared to the chocolate I'm having here in Dublin... Hershey's is pure shit. There's no going back for me. I'm looking into a monthly shipment deal. Highly lucrative, completely illegal.
John Yoo - Read about him here. He's the reason lawyers get such a bad rap. I hear satan is looking into hiring him as his personal consigliere.
There you have it. Oh and Tyler, you have one week to complete your punishment. Don't let me (or our 6 readers) down.
Clint Alwahab - A photojournalism major at the University of Missouri, self-described old man, and admitted snob. My most passionate debates spark from politics, government and religion but I will gladly talk about movies and music (as long as we're not talking about Michael Bay or Miley Cyrus).
Tyler Echols - An 8th grade US History teacher in Nashville, TN, self-described sweater vest lover, and admitted geek. My most passionate debates spring from politics, religion, and who shot first, Greedo or Han Solo...though everyone knows the answer to that. I am more than happy to talk about both Michael Bay and Miley Cyrus, as everyone knows that Americans love explosions. Yes, I was referring to Miley as well.
Clint Alwahab - A photojournalism major at the University of Missouri, self-described old man, and admitted snob. My most passionate debates spark from politics, government and religion but I will gladly talk about movies and music (as long as we're not talking about Michael Bay or Miley Cyrus).
Tyler Echols - An 8th grade US History teacher in Nashville, TN, self-described sweater vest lover, and admitted geek. My most passionate debates spring from politics, religion, and who shot first, Greedo or Han Solo...though everyone knows the answer to that. I am more than happy to talk about both Michael Bay and Miley Cyrus, as everyone knows that Americans love explosions. Yes, I was referring to Miley as well.
