in which i confess my love of alternative histories

Good evening, Clint.

It seems I will be posting first this week because, as you put it..."I'm in Paris. What do you think?" So, on my way home from my brother's wedding this weekend in Las Vegas I purchased a book: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. It was written by the same guy who wrote (rewrote?) Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (Seth Graeme-Smith). Without giving anything away, because you WILL want to read it, it is exactly what it sounds like...the adventures of Abraham Lincoln hunting vampires.

Presumably with the help of his steam punk brethren.

I absolutely devoured the book in the span of about a day and a half. It was a quick, engrossing read that I found myself totally wrapped up in. As I sat the book down earlier tonight, I realized something about myself that is both awesome and totally nerdy. I love alternative histories. I love everything about them. Especially when the author or creator pays attention to details. Great alternative histories are always slightly believable...even possible. I should note that I realize that vampires do not exist (that one's worth watching...if just for the ridiculousness), nor do zombies. However, it's the world that is created by these people is just so intriguing! So I have decided to list my favorite alternative histories for you today.

SIDEBAR: I don't really like to do the whole spoiler thing, but I also want to for real discuss these movies/video games/novels. So...if you don't want to be surprised, don't read them.

1. Inglourious Basterds

I love this movie. Tarantino has tension down to a science. That being said, this whole thing is incredible to me because I didn't know that it was going to be an alternate history. I had no idea the ending would go the way that it would. Literally up to the moment the movie ended, I kept wondering how they were going to finish the movie in keeping with the historical events surrounding them and then...BOOM! U turn. So epic. I mean basically cutting off the head of Hitler with a machine gun was a stroke of genius. Also, the idea of a group of commandos doing horrible things to Nazis appeals to my violent, vengeful, teenage boy side. Which is there (hence the video games). There are some interesting actual operations in Germany that are interesting...like Operation Cornflakes (which is real according to Wikipedia). This consists of blowing up a train full of mail and then dropping propaganda into the bombed out train and tricking the German mail service into delivering said propaganda which was disguised as German mail. Awesome.

2. Assassin's Creed (1 & 2)

And boom goes the dynamite.

So, video game jokes aside...this is actually an awesome story. Ever since the whole Dan Brown magical mythtery tour (that's right, mythtery) people have had a fascination with conspiracy theories involving the Knights Templar. I have strong opinions about the whole DaVinci Code/Angels & Demons thing, but that's a post for another time. The story of Assassin's Creed involves Templars as well, but this time it's more palatable...at least for me. The stage is set in the middle of the Crusades where there is a hidden battle going on between two actual groups in the Holy Land at that time: the Knights Templar and the Hashashin. This you know, but the actual setting of the story is the near future where the war between the Templars and the "Assassins" as they are now called is still going on. There's all sorts of awesome historical connections they make and actually bring some real people into the story. The first game is kinda weak on the historical side of things and they overlook a couple of things (like giving King Richard the Lionheart a French accent...). However, the second game does a really great job of incorporating really awesome little facts, like placing Leonardo DaVinci in Venice, Florence, and Milan at certain points in his life. Also cool are the things that they describe happening because of these things called "pieces of Eden". These are shown as powerful instruments that can give aid to those who use them...it's the orb that Queen Elizabeth I holds in her portrait, it's the sword that Joan of Arc carried into battle, the staff that Moses carries, etc. It is always intriguing to envision a world that was shaped by some kind of mysterious force acting through powerful objects and all that (hence the Indiana Jones movies) and the idea of some kind of secret war between two ancient groups has always fascinated us (hence the Underworld movies). You really need to make sure that you play the games to understand the whole story (or you could just read the Wikipedia article). I recommend the game.

3. World War Z & The Zombie Survival Guide

But more so World War Z. This is the single greatest novel I have ever read. From the structure of the interviews to the different voices that he is able to give his characters...just fantastic. The idea behind the novel is that there has been an earth shattering Zombie uprising that has almost annihilated the entire planet. A reporter has been sent to try and get as many people's stories and opinions on the struggle as he can. The result is a depiction of an epidemic that consumes humanity and hope and then the struggle to regain that hope and defeat the evil that has almost destroyed the world. The way that it is written makes it easy to accept that this happened 5 years ago...that we are still cleaning up and healing from this near apocalypse. Through this examination of the zombie war, he is able to capture humanity almost perfectly. The fear, pride, strength, and foolishness that we all possess becomes the canvas on which he can paint his masterpiece. When you get back from Ireland, you are reading this book and we are talking about it. The guy that directed Quantum of Solace is directing the film version. I'm tempted to never see it because I love the book so much...but I probably will...because of this concept art...

"I repeat, damaging the brain or removing the head..."

Just what I was thinking about...

PS-Clint you only have a short while before I will inflict punishment on you...and I don't think you want to know what that punishment will be.