Thursday, February 25, 2010

6 Things from Dublin

Hello Tyler,

Before I left for Dublin, I wrote a little piece about the 5 "true misconceptions" of Americans abroad. Well, now that I'm here I would like to write something a little similar, but about the Irish. Why 6? Yeah I don't have a good reason, I just couldn't come up with 10.


6. The Irish really do like their drink - I have it on good authority (the word of several sober and drunk Irishmen) that the Irish do, in fact, enjoy a good drunk. An older gentleman told me about how a pint of Guinness should be served and what a good Guinness looks like. He knew this because he was a Guinness representative for a while and because, "We are alcoholics."


5. Everything is seriously f-cking green - It rains here. A LOT. The first full day we were here, we walked through rain, sleet, snow, rainsleetsnow, and then sunny clear skies. Whatever photographs you've seen of the rolling hills of sunny Ireland were taken in the 3 minute timespan between torrential downpours. Because of all this rain, it is always green here. As one of my professors described it, in Siberia you have to wear sunglasses to protect you from snow-blindness, but here you have to wear sunglasses for green-blindness.


4. Dont' bring up the British - Just... Don't.


3. They do not like leprechauns - Of all the stereotypes, this one took the longest to come up. They see it as a stupid myth that Americans think is actually real. I have never met anyone that legitimately thought leprechauns were real, but my professor knew a police officer who met a rather drunk American man who asked him wear the "lupreeshins" were. As a kind Irishmen would, he directed him toward the park down the street. Maybe the Leprechauns moved to Mobile, Alabama? (See above video to get that reference)


2. Guinness is the national economy's mainstay - Though the Celtic Tiger (Ireland's economic boom) is long over, there's one thing the economy can count on and that's Guinness. Not only is it a tourist attraction 365, it is the most common drink purchased in every pub/bar/club I've been to thus far. So don't be shy to order a pint next time you're in town, you'd look weird if you didn't.


1. If you've got any Irish in your blood, you're Irish - I'm Irish, according to the Irishman at a pub I visited. He was very curious why all these Americans are always coming over to Ireland to study. I tried to explain that traveling/studying abroad is just a thing that attracts a lot of students. He then asked if I had any Irish heritage, I explained that it was waaaay down my mother's line and that I was actually an Arab-American. He cut me off about halfway through my sentence and said, "You've got Irish in you, you're Irish." So yeah! I'm Irish! Don't kiss me.

P.S. I hope that news station was shut down after that report.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Death and Taxes (and Hockey...of course...)

Clint...I am...upset.


I did our taxes yesterday. Which in and of itself is just infuriating...but then I got to the best part: how much is Uncle Sam going to give me this year? I found out some upsetting news. I owe a large sum of money to the United States government. Now...I'm going to break this down for you in a very reasoned way, whine without regard for the legitimacy of my argument for about a paragraph, and then get out my checkbook and get on with my life (in that order).

I should begin by saying that I don't mind paying taxes. I understand that this is how we fund our government. I mean, Amber's job, Brad's job, and many of my friends' jobs are paid for by the money collected by taxes. I certainly don't mind funding our country's defense, maintenance, or infrastructure. That being said, the big reason that I'm upset is that I am basically getting punished for getting married and making money (and not even a LOT of money). I made roughly the same amount of money this year as last year. Last year I got a refund. This year is the first full(fiscal) year that I have been married and I OWE money to the government. I did some looking and if Amber and I were "living in sin" as the old folks say, I would be receiving roughly the same amount THAT I AM PAYING TO THE GOVERNMENT!!! Which leads me to the whining...


...WHAT THE HELL!? Now, I'm no economist, but don't you want people to get married? That has all sorts of businesses and jobs attached to it! Florists, tailors, rental properties, travel agencies, bakeries, caterers...golf courses, for Pete's sake! Not to mention the MILLIONS of dollars a year that wedding planning makes. And that's just the wedding itself! Never mind the money that you pay to get married by the state. Apart from the economics, marriage leads to people buying houses, cars, and eventually bringing other Americans into the world. If there's anything that the government should be encouraging...shouldn't it be marriage? Here's the other thing that bothers me. The government takes money out of my paycheck each month for taxes anyway. It also takes out money for social security (which I'll never see) and for Medicare (which I'll never see). And yet, even though I already get money taken out of my pay each month, I STILL owe money to the government?! Really? REALLY!? And as for this "hopey-changey" stuff that is supposedly doing so well...where's my damn tax break!? I'm not going to quote the plan, because it only makes me depressed. And don't bring this whole "well, the republicans are stopping obama from getting his plan through..." to me...I'm just too annoyed to hear it.

*grabs checkbook...gets on with life*

Lastly...


USA! USA! USA!
Isn't it Canada's national sport? And 5-3 isn't exactly a "close" game. So, nicely done, team USA. I feel like watching the Mighty Ducks.


quack. quack. quack. quack. quack! QUACK!

Now, I realize I didn't actually say anything about death...but then again, I did mention Emilio Estevez's career...HI-OH!

Clint...until next time, remember...ducks fly together!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Hopey Changey

Good morning/afternoon Tyler,

It has been far too long since anything has happened on this blog. Since I've gotten to Dublin, I'll be honest, I just haven't focused on what to write for this ol' blog. But in the words of Sarah Palin and some black guy that takes my money and gives it back, it's time for some "hopey changey" around here. It's time for... A Renaissance!


That's right ladies and gentlemen, Tyler and I have decided to be proactive about this blog and actually use it for what blogs are intended... blogging. So here's the deal, Tyler and I will blog once every week. That's one post from me and one post from Tyler every week. "But Clint, how can I trust you'll keep your promises? Where's the accountability?" I'm glad you asked. Tyler and I now have a standing verbal contract that if one of us does not blog by midnight on the specified day, the other chooses the punishment. Spoonful of sugar, eating 10 saltine crackers in 3 minutes, watching the next Twilight movie, whatever we come up with the other must fulfill the punishment. The best part is we'll vlog (video blog) the punishments for all of you.

This coming week, you can expect a blog post from myself and Tyler. Watch your RSS, Google reader, inbox, facebook feed, twitter timeline (or whatever the hell you're using to stay in touch with people you don't care about) because new posts are coming your way.


Gird your loins, this blog just got REAL.