I did our taxes yesterday. Which in and of itself is just infuriating...but then I got to the best part: how much is Uncle Sam going to give me this year? I found out some upsetting news. I owe a large sum of money to the United States government. Now...I'm going to break this down for you in a very reasoned way, whine without regard for the legitimacy of my argument for about a paragraph, and then get out my checkbook and get on with my life (in that order).
I should begin by saying that I don't mind paying taxes. I understand that this is how we fund our government. I mean, Amber's job, Brad's job, and many of my friends' jobs are paid for by the money collected by taxes. I certainly don't mind funding our country's defense, maintenance, or infrastructure. That being said, the big reason that I'm upset is that I am basically getting punished for getting married and making money (and not even a LOT of money). I made roughly the same amount of money this year as last year. Last year I got a refund. This year is the first full(fiscal) year that I have been married and I OWE money to the government. I did some looking and if Amber and I were "living in sin" as the old folks say, I would be receiving roughly the same amount THAT I AM PAYING TO THE GOVERNMENT!!! Which leads me to the whining...
...WHAT THE HELL!? Now, I'm no economist, but don't you want people to get married? That has all sorts of businesses and jobs attached to it! Florists, tailors, rental properties, travel agencies, bakeries, caterers...golf courses, for Pete's sake! Not to mention the MILLIONS of dollars a year that wedding planning makes. And that's just the wedding itself! Never mind the money that you pay to get married by the state. Apart from the economics, marriage leads to people buying houses, cars, and eventually bringing other Americans into the world. If there's anything that the government should be encouraging...shouldn't it be marriage? Here's the other thing that bothers me. The government takes money out of my paycheck each month for taxes anyway. It also takes out money for social security (which I'll never see) and for Medicare (which I'll never see). And yet, even though I already get money taken out of my pay each month, I STILL owe money to the government?! Really? REALLY!? And as for this "hopey-changey" stuff that is supposedly doing so well...where's my damn tax break!? I'm not going to quote the plan, because it only makes me depressed. And don't bring this whole "well, the republicans are stopping obama from getting his plan through..." to me...I'm just too annoyed to hear it.
*grabs checkbook...gets on with life*
Lastly...
USA! USA! USA!
Isn't it Canada's national sport? And 5-3 isn't exactly a "close" game. So, nicely done, team USA. I feel like watching the Mighty Ducks.
quack. quack. quack. quack. quack! QUACK!
Now, I realize I didn't actually say anything about death...but then again, I did mention Emilio Estevez's career...HI-OH!
Clint...until next time, remember...ducks fly together!
Clint Alwahab - A photojournalism major at the University of Missouri, self-described old man, and admitted snob. My most passionate debates spark from politics, government and religion but I will gladly talk about movies and music (as long as we're not talking about Michael Bay or Miley Cyrus).
Tyler Echols - An 8th grade US History teacher in Nashville, TN, self-described sweater vest lover, and admitted geek. My most passionate debates spring from politics, religion, and who shot first, Greedo or Han Solo...though everyone knows the answer to that. I am more than happy to talk about both Michael Bay and Miley Cyrus, as everyone knows that Americans love explosions. Yes, I was referring to Miley as well.
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