Where the Hipster Things Are

Good evening Tyler,

With the premiere of the new Spike Jonze film Where the Wild Things Are just hours away, I feel it only appropriate to express my feelings for the film. I don't care.

I never read the book as a child (gasps! oh the horror!) and don't really intend to read it now... Not that I'm better than it, but it's just... Not on my list. Since I never read the book, my desire to see the film is nowhere near as strong as the 20-somethings who did, and are now orgasming via twitter after every commercial.

Now, I am a film buff. I do love quality films, and this one does look like it was very well made. The problem I have with it? Hipsters. Now I may be a liberal, Barack-Obama-voting bastard, but one thing I do not like... is hipsters. I can tolerate them and I am friends with several, but holy shit, if this film gets any more hipster I'm going to start listening to Toby Keith just to even the playing field! Here's my reasoning:

-Every trailer has hipster music playing in the background (Arcade Fire, Karen O)
-The soundtrack? HIPSTERS!
-The plot? A child who can't connect with his parents explores the inner-depths of his mind and makes up funny/cute/cuddly/lovable monsters who are reflections of his own personality. Holy hipster Batman.
-The movie is just layered with hipsterness... And I won't stand for it!

Now, don't get me wrong, "hipster" is not always a bad term. Like I said, I am friends with hipsters and love them. But when you have 5 or more hipsters in one room, it's bad news bears. There are too many hipsters around if there are discussions of:
-Anything involving Nick Cave, Elliot Smith, or Built to Spill
-A "vintage tee" someone is wearing
-What kind of clove cigarettes one prefers
-Where the party host "keeps their vinyl"
-If the bar serves Pabst Blue Ribbon

The list goes on, but those are the most obvious and dangerous signs of hipsters afoot. So I caution you, oh WTWTA enthusiast to tread lightly as you view the film. Watch out for the hipsters who will undoubtedly flood every theater (or "cinema" as they may call them). If you are surrounded by 4 or more hipsters, make sure you keep your talk of firearms, ESPN and red meat to a dull roar... You don't want to anger the feeble-armed mob.

Photograph provided by Hipster or Gay.