So, I was driving back to Missouri on Saturday and was discussing with my fellow Tiger, Anna Beth, the douche bags that crashed Obama's state dinner last week. We decided that this week's thing that suck list should be a special douche bag edition. So here goes:
Michaele and Tareq Salahi - These are the douche bags that gate crashed the state dinner. I was amazed that these two douche bags had the gall to do this. Not only are they federal-law-breaking douche bags, but they are old-people-abusing-Facebook douche bags. The reason they did this is because they are potential cast members for a new reality show "Desperate Housewives of Washington"... I feel like after this little episode they should change the name to "Desperate Douche Bags" and just have the Salahis as their cast. The lengths that people will go to to be noticed is absolutely disturbing. Speaking of desperate ploys for attention, how about...
Richard and Mayumi Heene - The parents of the "balloon boy" and all around douche bags. They proved within the span of 36 hours that they are two of the biggest douche bags in America, and all on live television! When your child is puking on live television multiple times and giving away your secret desires for fame, you should probably throw in the towel. Just remember that when you have kids Tyler.
Rush Limbaugh - Do I really need to say anything?
Tyler Echols - Yes you Tyler. You know why? Cause I'm pushing out these Things that Suck lists every Monday and you have yet to post anything about Things that Don't Suck. I fear for our readers' well-being. If they're getting all these things that suck thrown at them all the time but never have any happiness to read about, what's that make us look like? I fear we're (mainly me) coming off as pessimistic assholes who don't find happiness in anything except our own sick, twisted words of disgust. So until I see some posts about things that don't suck, you Tyler Echols, will be on my things that DO suck list... No one is safe.
Clint Alwahab - A photojournalism major at the University of Missouri, self-described old man, and admitted snob. My most passionate debates spark from politics, government and religion but I will gladly talk about movies and music (as long as we're not talking about Michael Bay or Miley Cyrus).
Tyler Echols - An 8th grade US History teacher in Nashville, TN, self-described sweater vest lover, and admitted geek. My most passionate debates spring from politics, religion, and who shot first, Greedo or Han Solo...though everyone knows the answer to that. I am more than happy to talk about both Michael Bay and Miley Cyrus, as everyone knows that Americans love explosions. Yes, I was referring to Miley as well.
you are a pessimistic asshole that finds joy in mocking others. This is why I love you.
ReplyDeleteAlso you should have included the ballon boy himself, if you are going to agree to this crazy scheme of your parents then at least have the balls/brains to keep it going. Just an opinion.
FYI, it's not "Desperate Housewives of DC"...it's another series of "Real Housewives of ___" in this case, being DC.
ReplyDeletealso, i agree lots
ReplyDeleteI feel the need to come to the rescue of my 40-hours-a-week working, swim-team coaching, modern-warfare winning husband! ...wait, maybe that last hyphenate modifier shouldn't be included on that list of reason why he's too busy to make a blog post (if it should even have been hyphenated to begin with), BUT my point is...he's busy, dude.
ReplyDeleteBack off, kid! (c: