Things That Do Not Suck

Good afternoon, Clint.

It seems today that there is much around us that does, in fact, suck. Conangate, Mark McGwire was using steroids (feigned surprise) when he broke the single season home run record, and Lane Kiffin is an all around douche bag. Not to mention the horrific earthquake that devastated Haiti(By the way, that link will take you to the American Red Cross where you can find a place to donate blood or donate some benjis for the cause...if you're afraid of needles). Yes, things on starship Earth are looking down...

...but hey, that's what "things that do not suck" is for! So chin up, cheer up, and buck up, cause here comes the list!

Afternoons when you have nothing to do...

Yeah, that's right. Nothing. You've read that book that you promised your sister that you would read that you didn't want to in the first place. You made that call to your mother that you promised her that you would a month ago. You somehow managed to plan ahead so that you know what you're doing tomorrow at work or school. And now? Nothing. It's bliss. You can literally do whatever you want. Do you want to fall asleep watching the daily marathon of CSI on Spike(endorsement? no? cool...)? Do you want to watch Star Wars: Deluxe Edition and complain about what Lucas did to your favorite movies for the 40th time(only 40th? impressive, most impressive)? Do it. What a glorious feeling! My personal favorite example was the afternoon that I laid outside in a hammock with the full intention of reading...but ended up just staring at clouds. It was glorious. Nice cool breeze...wisps of clouds that looked vaguely like animals...perfect.

Getting your mind blown...

Have you ever learned something that absolutely blew your mind? I mean really just totally took you by surprise and kapow! you were never the same? This happens to me sometimes, and I absolutely love it when it happens. It comes from school, stuff I read, even stuff that I see on TV. Honestly, it doesn't take much...but getting a new fact that I think is amazing is something that makes my life infinitely better. Recently it's been Physics that has blown my mind...but History always does...you know me. Examples? Sure. Did you know that around 1485, the Portuguese visited the Kongo? Their leaders became so linked to Portugal that they converted to Catholicism, spoke Portuguese, and even took Portuguese names. In 1688, the Kongolese king was named Jao...which I'm fairly certain is like "John" in Portugal. Pretty cool huh? Another example...the relative size of the universe. Watch that video and try to keep your mind in place. Oops. You can't. It was just blown apart by the sheer awesomeness of science. Take that brain.

Michael Jordan - the rest of the time...

I mean...6 championships. 6. Want to know what that looks like? About like this...

So yeah...I know that you know that MJ is amazing. I just wanted to reiterate how much he does not suck. And as an added bonus...here's a little gem you may or may not remember. I just want to point out that those fries and that big mac would be cold and soggy by the time that competition was over...

Seacrest, out.