in which I get two cavities filled by someone I knew in high school...

Good morning, Clint.

It is a delightfully sunny day here in Nashville, Tennessee, home of the Whopper. Today is Teacher Appreciation Day at school, so I thought I would send some of that appreciation your way in the form of a new blog activity...or blogtivity(...I'm sorry). We both have very specific realms of knowledge and experience, so I thought we could use that to both entertain and educate. Every week we should ask each other a question and the other can answer in his next blog post. Sound good? So my first question to you is...who is your favorite photographer and what is the image of his or hers that is your favorite? I know that's like asking me who my favorite historian is, but I say you must choose! I saw an article on NPR about some photos that Ansel Adams took for the Department of the Interior and they are absolutely incredible! So let's start this thing...it'll be great. Trust me.

SIDEBAR: Are you checking what's on these links? Some of this is comic GOLD!

Ya know...like Carlos Mencia...(I was going to use Carrot Top...but do yourself a favor and don't google image Carrot Top...ugh)

So now onto the meat of my entry. Yesterday, I got two cavities filled. Which is, of course, miserable. I don't like any part of the dental work process. This stems from the simple fact that I don't like having other people's hands in my mouth...which, I think, is fairly reasonable.

Uht? Uh cuss uh een ahing...(why do they always wait to talk to you until you have your mouth full...)

This is all beside the point, though. The dental assistant (though I'm not sure this is her appropriate title...sorry to dental professionals everywhere) that was handing the different instruments of torture to the dentist was a girl I went to high school with. This has happened a couple of times to me, and I began thinking as I lay there, breathing deeply on the gas, praying that it wouldn't take very long, about how as my classmates and I have passed into adulthood, we are going to be in some interesting situations as employers, employees, service providers, service consumers, etc. Other than the fillings, I have rented a car, bought a pair of running shoes, made an appointment at the eye doctor, taught with, been served at a restaurant, and rented a room at a hotel to friends or acquaintances from high school. Part of this regularity comes from the fact that I live in Nashville. I see these people all the time because most of them stayed here. My thoughts about this are mostly just societal. I mean...how does one approach these situations? Here are my thoughts...and as I am apparently an anal retentive blogger...broken down in sections.

1. Serving: So what happens when you are serving someone at a restaurant or hotel or wherever you may be working and that person is an acquaintance from high school. If it was a friend, it would be easy! "Oh it's been so long!", "How are you!?", etc. But with an acquaintance...is it appropriate to be like "Hey, did you go to BHS?" knowing full well that both of you know that you did. Does that help the service to be better or does it make a business lunch or, God forbid, a first date super awkward?

Bill? Yeah, he used to wear this Babylon 5 shirt EVERYDAY! So, would you like to start with some appetizers?

2. Being served: Is it appropriate to even mention that you know dude/dudette from high school? I mean...sitting in the midst of my graduation looking out over the crew that was about to go on to college or whatever else, one kind of assumes that people had dreams and desires, and I think I can say, honestly, that I didn't think anybody was like "I can't wait to be a full time waiter at Chili's". And yet, here we are...grabbing a quick bite after church with A-train and Special K and all of a sudden, WHAM! High school. I just don't want someone to feel like crap cause they came to work and some dude from high school who is not in the service industry is like "oh...didn't know you were working here...still..." It's like that scene from that cinematic masterpiece Waiting... where the guy's high school buddy comes in and then gives him a huge tip cause "it looked like you needed it." Yeesh! Now this is all assuming that someone might not be so proud of what they are doing at said job. I also focus on the food service industry because that seems like the most common overlap. So who knows...

But here is the ultimate. Someday...I will(probably) teach the child of someone I knew from high school. Or maybe even a friend. I do not look forward to this. Relationships between teachers, students, and parents are complex enough, but adding more baggage is not ideal. And I know I have friends that would like me to teach their kids, and I would be happy to do it...but it makes me nervous. In effect, I am the waiter that loves his job. I am now serving your family in the most direct of ways. I am helping to RAISE your child! Teaching them how to think and learn. That is intense. It's like camping...(get it?!)

I will say, though, that my personal experiences with these meetings have been pretty positive. It's kinda nice to meet up with people and all of them seem really happy about what they're doing. Like yesterday, the girl at the dentist really loves working on teeth. And, yes, she acknowledged that it was weird, but hey, it makes her happy and she seemed to be doing really well. So yeah, it's awkward, but who cares?

So this is what I've been thinking as the high pitched whine of the drill on my teeth reverberates through my skull. That, and the answers to questions on Cash Cab.

Ben Bailey: hosts a game show while driving a cab in NYC...baller.

in which I discuss traveling and my apparent laziness...

Good afternoon, Clint.

I accept my punishment. But four times in three days? REALLY!? You better hope you don't forget to post...cause I will destroy you. WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND, ALWAHAB! Yeah, I'll tone it down.

I've been traveling a lot lately and so it has been on my mind. It concerns me a lot. Actually, concerned is probably not the correct word, but I've been thinking about it a lot lately. There are a couple of reasons why I'm uncomfortable with traveling...so let's explore my irrational ridiculousness.

First, I just don't like flying. I realize that this is a stupid thing for me to not like. My brother is a pilot. It takes less time and is safer than driving. I can sit and read or listen to my music. It's really the only kind of transportation that makes sense if you're trying to get anywhere in the world. However, here are my issues. Airport security is annoying. Shoes off? Awesome. Belt too? Sure. Oh...my wallet? Keys? Take out the laptop? Wait...why did I bother packing or dressing? Yes...I do tolerate this to make sure that I survive the flight, and I am impressed with the streamlining that has been done. It's still annoying. Planes are also unpredictable. They just drop, bump, or whatever. It's always unsettling. This probably comes from my lack of control over the aircraft. But still. Good things about flying? I dunno...I always get excited about it. It's an event. And there's just nothing quite like coming off the plane to see people you know waiting for you.

Ya know...just like the press was waiting for President Ford. (Sorry, I had to.)

Second, traveling is just uncomfortable. It throws off my schedules...ya know: eating, sleeping...among other things. I just feel uncomfortable constantly. It's not really that horrible, but I just get thrown off. Take for instance the trip I recently took to Vegas and Utah. First of all, I'm two hours behind what I normally am...which doesn't sound like much, but it just is! I hit the ground running and it was a total blast. However, I ate at weird hours like 2 pm or 7 pm...went to bed at like 4 am central time...you can see how that would make me feel uncomfortable.

Now, I really do enjoy traveling. I get to see really cool stuff and often meet really cool people. But sometimes, I'd just rather be sitting on the couch playing video games or just letting myself slip into unconsciousness while watching Futurama. Ah well...

So one last parting shot this entry. I'm reviewing for a test with my kids and this was a great exchange:

Me: "Define communism"

Kid: "OBAMA!"

Deuces.

Return of the Things that Suck

Good afternoon,

Okay WTFballs Tyler?! I know you still have computer access cause I talk to you on gchat all the time. Yet there is no blog post? I mean, we gotta step it up if we're going to outshine Austin Huff and his sports cronies over at Korked Bats. They just got an article in the Tennessean! They just gained like, another 40 site hits! This will not stand!

I was lenient last time, but this insolence will not stand! Your punishment is this sir: you must watch The Butterfly Effect four (4) times in three (3) days. So let it be written, so let it be done. You must document your viewing each time, and I trust Amber to be the impartial mediator here and verify that you did, in fact, watch the film 4 times in 3 days.

So now let's get down to business: things that suck.


Ricky Martin - Thanks for telling the world what we already knew, Ricky. I'm sure you are a great inspiration to gay men stuck in the closet... If they work hard and sing about shaking bon bons and wooing senoritas for enough years, they too can one day come out of the closet.


The Office: Season 6 - The television show has proven that people don't like working at offices for a reason. They're boring, just like the long running story lines of season 6. Pam is a bitchy mother, the Andy/Erin relationship is so comically annoying that it's actually just annoying, and Kathy Bates should stick to breaking James Caan's legs. Honestly, unless there is some major transformation that doesn't involve the threat of the office being shut down or Dwight disavowing Michael, I think it's all downhill from here.


Jay Leno - I'm still pissed.


Hershey's Chocolate - Not only because it's from Pennsylvania (and everyone from Pennsylvania thinks they are the greatest human beings alive), but because compared to the chocolate I'm having here in Dublin... Hershey's is pure shit. There's no going back for me. I'm looking into a monthly shipment deal. Highly lucrative, completely illegal.


John Yoo - Read about him here. He's the reason lawyers get such a bad rap. I hear satan is looking into hiring him as his personal consigliere.

There you have it. Oh and Tyler, you have one week to complete your punishment. Don't let me (or our 6 readers) down.

Only Stupid People?

Good morning Tyler,

Let's set a few things straight. You didn't blog. And the laws of the blog (and according to Bob Loblaw's Law Blog) dictate that you be punished for this heinous crime. The only problem is... I didn't blog either. My excuse is that I'm in Europe and we don't do anything in a timely manner. Nonetheless, punishment should be rightly enforced. Unless you wanna call a truce? Just think about it.


In the meantime, for our readers' sake, I'd like to talk about my trip to England. I'm currently sitting in the home of my good friends, the Farishes, in Northeast England. And believe it or not, coming from Ireland to England has actually been a culture shock. It's hard to describe why or how the two nations are so different, but when I came here it definitely felt different. I'm terrified at how bad my reverse culture shock will be when I get back to America. I think the best thing about coming to England though is all the questions. Upon my arrival, one of Michael's housemates asked me: "I know this might be a stupid question, but do you have the TV show 'Friends' back in America?"

You mean the TV show with all the Americans in it? Yeah... Yeah we've got that. We're only on season 4 though. Other questions have included:

-So in America, do you have donuts every morning for breakfast?
-You don't have cold water in the South, do you?
-Have you seen that guy that makes all the food?
-Do you have taxis in America?

And my personal favorite: "Are you the famous Clint Alwahab?" That's right, someone actually asked me if I was the famous Clint Alwahab. I've got to say, it's a great/ego exploding feeling when someone asks you that. He asked that because he said he always saw all his friends on Facebook talking to me on my wall. Thanks Facebook!

Now, this whole stupid question thing doesn't work just one way. Michael's visits to America have included questions such as: "Do you have water in England?" and "What language do you speak in England?" Where did we go wrong? When did we stop using our brains? When did we start forgetting where Europe is? I guess the bright side to all of this is that we're asking questions and we're curious about different cultures... Right?